Recently, I've re-watched the movie 'Mona Lisa Smile" with Julia Roberts starring as the non-traditionalist art history teacher, Katherine Watson. She begins a job at one of the most prestigious and conservative all girls school in 1950's. Massachusetts. Having a Masters Degree from UCLA and more brains than formal training, she was the perfect wrench to be thrown into the cesspool of delusion and hypocrisy typically experienced within the school community. At one point, Katherine takes the girls into a modern art gallery to show them one of the newest and never before seen pieces; an array of textures, colors, and shapes seemingly making absolutely no sense, rhyme or reason. When you took time to look at the piece and the message of the film, it was actually an incredible display of the innately complex, unpredictable, and messy experience we call life. There is no real pattern or paint by number formula to follow. We are all creating each moment whether we realise it or not. The painting was a symbol for the way these incredibly intelligent and capable women were living their lives, expecting it to all go according to the plan set for them by others.
Very often we allow ourselves to be put into a box like this, whether it be by ourselves or someone else. There is an expectation that comes with it that we are supposed to meet. Perfectly. Completely. For a time, we may fit and meet the expectation. But due to the very nature of humanity, our essence, the force of the universe that gave us breath, we continue to shape shift and we eventually outgrow the box. When this happens, we may feel a heavy reflective force from others still holding onto the expectation: we are supposed to fit and stay in the box! The important thing to remember is that no one except you can really understand how uncomfortable that box has become. You're the only one that has to endure the discomfort and sacrifice of living in a box that you no longer fit in.
So when you start to realize that things have changed, you've grown and your current box is just doesn't seem to feel right anymore, consider throwing it out. Just like a caterpillar throws away her cocoon when it has transformed into a butterfly, it's dropped to the ground and no longer needed. When the butterfly has finally grown it's beautiful wings, it is now totally free to fly.